I think I've stumbled upon grad school gold. A few days ago, one of my class members asked me to tutor her in three of our four classes for the rest of the semester. Unfortunately, she didn't do that well on the midterms and is looking to do better. I never turn down a request for help, so I'm all in.
Turns out, she's doing me more of a favor than she thinks I'm doing for her. (Did that make sense?) Let me re-phrase. She's worried that this gig might over-burden me, but frankly, it's helping me stay on top of my studying. Because it's not just about me anymore, I have to be prepared when we meet! I have to know this stuff if I expect to help her any. So tutoring her is actually helping me to do the readings, take the notes, understand the material and then work with her on it.
I can't believe I didn't think of this before. My biggest weakness (well, one of the many) is discipline. I can let myself down all the time and get over it. But I'll be a monkey's uncle if my laziness is going to have a negative impact on someone else! So tutoring turns out to be great motivation and discipline to get work done and get it done well. I wonder if my own grades are going to improve now? I bet they will. Which is good, I like them nice and high.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Zombies and sliced thumbs
I learned two very important things about myself this weekend. And they both involve that queasy feeling in your stomach.
The first is that I cannot watch the t.v. show "The Walking Dead." I've seen zombie movies before and enjoyed them, so I thought I would like this show too. But I was wrong. What I failed to recognize is that the "zombie" movies I like are pseudo-spoofs. Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland are not your classic zombie horror films. They're like zombie-lite films. Not too scary, not too freaky, lots of laughs. Well, The Walking Dead is not zombie-lite. I was in fits of anguish the entire 45 mintues. In fact, I tried to watch an episode right before bed and had to turn it off, it was freaking me out too much. I didn't even make it five minutes in. You would think I'd have learned my lesson. Well, I tried again. This time, I watched it hours before going to bed. I even fast-forwarded through some tense spots. I hid my face behind Chase's back in other parts. And it was still too much. I think it's because my mind is in a fragile place anyway (grad school is not a friend to your brain). Sigh.... lesson learned, I cannot watch that show. Despite the fact that I really want to... one sleepless night was enough for me.
The second thing I learned is that I do not do well around gushing blood. Those big, swelling drops of blood make me want to pass out. It is amazing how fast I get lightheaded. This comes as a complete surprise to me. I thought I was strong. I thought I was tough. Turns out I am a complete wuss around flesh wounds.
See, what had happened was..... I was in the office, perusing facebook and saw a video that was pretty funny. I thought Chase would get a kick out of it. But he was in the kitchen making dinner. Let me also state that I was supposed to be doing school work and got distracted for a moment. So I call out "Chase!" And then I hear "(bad word) (bad word) (BAD WORD)." Turns out he was cutting cabbage and when I called his name, he slipped and chopped off the tip of his thumb. (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... I need some air.) So he's in the bathroom running water over the cut and the blood is flowing. I go and get the band-aids and neosporin. Suddenly there is not enough air in the bathroom. I go out to the porch, then I hear Chase calling me because he's about to pass out too and we're just a hot mess.
Finally, I get a band-aid over that crazy town and Chase is on the floor in a cold sweat and I am secretly hoping he will pass out so I can too. No such luck. Meanwhile, the dinner that was cooking on the stove is still cooking, and I rush in there to turn everything off before it burns the place down. Luckily, it was still edible and when our stomachs came back to us, it turned out to be a great dinner.
But just thinking about the slicing STILL gives me the he-be-je-bes. Oh, it just tears me up. Dangum zombies. Dangum knives. I am so ready for this weekend to be behind me.
The first is that I cannot watch the t.v. show "The Walking Dead." I've seen zombie movies before and enjoyed them, so I thought I would like this show too. But I was wrong. What I failed to recognize is that the "zombie" movies I like are pseudo-spoofs. Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland are not your classic zombie horror films. They're like zombie-lite films. Not too scary, not too freaky, lots of laughs. Well, The Walking Dead is not zombie-lite. I was in fits of anguish the entire 45 mintues. In fact, I tried to watch an episode right before bed and had to turn it off, it was freaking me out too much. I didn't even make it five minutes in. You would think I'd have learned my lesson. Well, I tried again. This time, I watched it hours before going to bed. I even fast-forwarded through some tense spots. I hid my face behind Chase's back in other parts. And it was still too much. I think it's because my mind is in a fragile place anyway (grad school is not a friend to your brain). Sigh.... lesson learned, I cannot watch that show. Despite the fact that I really want to... one sleepless night was enough for me.
The second thing I learned is that I do not do well around gushing blood. Those big, swelling drops of blood make me want to pass out. It is amazing how fast I get lightheaded. This comes as a complete surprise to me. I thought I was strong. I thought I was tough. Turns out I am a complete wuss around flesh wounds.
See, what had happened was..... I was in the office, perusing facebook and saw a video that was pretty funny. I thought Chase would get a kick out of it. But he was in the kitchen making dinner. Let me also state that I was supposed to be doing school work and got distracted for a moment. So I call out "Chase!" And then I hear "(bad word) (bad word) (BAD WORD)." Turns out he was cutting cabbage and when I called his name, he slipped and chopped off the tip of his thumb. (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.... I need some air.) So he's in the bathroom running water over the cut and the blood is flowing. I go and get the band-aids and neosporin. Suddenly there is not enough air in the bathroom. I go out to the porch, then I hear Chase calling me because he's about to pass out too and we're just a hot mess.
Finally, I get a band-aid over that crazy town and Chase is on the floor in a cold sweat and I am secretly hoping he will pass out so I can too. No such luck. Meanwhile, the dinner that was cooking on the stove is still cooking, and I rush in there to turn everything off before it burns the place down. Luckily, it was still edible and when our stomachs came back to us, it turned out to be a great dinner.
But just thinking about the slicing STILL gives me the he-be-je-bes. Oh, it just tears me up. Dangum zombies. Dangum knives. I am so ready for this weekend to be behind me.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Grad school blues... and we're only two days in!
It's strange, I knew grad school would be full-on.... but somehow, it's still a surprise. It's like I wake up each day and go "wow, I have a crap-load of stuff to do today...and it all involves sitting and reading." or sitting and typing. or sitting and staring at a computer screen. or sitting and listening to lecture. or sitting and eating. or sitting and typing this post.
I've decided that I need a standing desk. Like architects have. Only not slanted.
That knot in my shoulder's back! Crap. I hate that tension spot. I don't even know I'm stressing and then BAM! my shoulder aches.
I've worked on a lot of personal development over the years. Time management, thoughtfulness, patience, self control... (obviously, these are still in the developmental stages, it's a work in progress people!) ... but handling stress... that's one I haven't even come close to managing, much less "fixing." And for the sake of my shoulder and sanity, it's one I need to master pronto. I find breathing exercises are actually quite helpful. I just have to work on remembering to do them....
Thank GOD I have Chase this go-round with grad school. I really mean it, Thank GOD. I'm not taking His name in vain, I'm thanking Him. I didn't have someone to rub my stress spot. Now I do. I didn't have someone to warm up brownies and bring them to me with a glass of milk. Now I do. I didn't have someone to wrap me up in his arms and remind me that everything's going to be okay. Now I do. And I'll tell you, it makes all the difference in the world. Except with stress, apparently. It's immune to the wonders of Chase's wonderfulness. It's immune to everything, apparently. It creeps around in the background, unnoticed. And then pounces and wrestles me to the ground until I scream, uncle! And gifts me with a knot in my shoulder, a vague headache, and a foul mood. damn you, stress. I'm getting stressed out thinking about how awful stress is!! This must stop.
Going back to the start of this post, I mourn the loss of activity in my life. And I fret about how my inactivity will translate to a fatty me. Let's crunch the numbers here: sitting and ___(insert anything related to grad school)___ + stress = stress eating and getting fat.
I know I'm not painting a pretty picture here, it's not all really so bad. I'm just putting my psychosis to print. I secretly wish that if I "talk" (or type) about it, then it will decrease in importance and I won't worry so much. I don't know if it actually works out that way... but I think typing up your diary entries and then posting them for the world to read is kind of cathartic. And stupid. I say stupid because UCF just sent out an email warning students to not post personal things on facebook or allow unknown people to be their friend. The email talked about how we leave digital footprints that can be altered and misused later down the road. That's some accurate information.... and funny to try and tell new college kids to think about their future. I'm pretty sure they can only think about acting a fool at this point.
Anyway, I'm done. I need to focus back on my schedule and what needs to get done today. This was a pleasant diversion. I wonder how many more months will pass before I blog again? Or will it be tomorrow?
I've decided that I need a standing desk. Like architects have. Only not slanted.
That knot in my shoulder's back! Crap. I hate that tension spot. I don't even know I'm stressing and then BAM! my shoulder aches.
I've worked on a lot of personal development over the years. Time management, thoughtfulness, patience, self control... (obviously, these are still in the developmental stages, it's a work in progress people!) ... but handling stress... that's one I haven't even come close to managing, much less "fixing." And for the sake of my shoulder and sanity, it's one I need to master pronto. I find breathing exercises are actually quite helpful. I just have to work on remembering to do them....
Thank GOD I have Chase this go-round with grad school. I really mean it, Thank GOD. I'm not taking His name in vain, I'm thanking Him. I didn't have someone to rub my stress spot. Now I do. I didn't have someone to warm up brownies and bring them to me with a glass of milk. Now I do. I didn't have someone to wrap me up in his arms and remind me that everything's going to be okay. Now I do. And I'll tell you, it makes all the difference in the world. Except with stress, apparently. It's immune to the wonders of Chase's wonderfulness. It's immune to everything, apparently. It creeps around in the background, unnoticed. And then pounces and wrestles me to the ground until I scream, uncle! And gifts me with a knot in my shoulder, a vague headache, and a foul mood. damn you, stress. I'm getting stressed out thinking about how awful stress is!! This must stop.
Going back to the start of this post, I mourn the loss of activity in my life. And I fret about how my inactivity will translate to a fatty me. Let's crunch the numbers here: sitting and ___(insert anything related to grad school)___ + stress = stress eating and getting fat.
I know I'm not painting a pretty picture here, it's not all really so bad. I'm just putting my psychosis to print. I secretly wish that if I "talk" (or type) about it, then it will decrease in importance and I won't worry so much. I don't know if it actually works out that way... but I think typing up your diary entries and then posting them for the world to read is kind of cathartic. And stupid. I say stupid because UCF just sent out an email warning students to not post personal things on facebook or allow unknown people to be their friend. The email talked about how we leave digital footprints that can be altered and misused later down the road. That's some accurate information.... and funny to try and tell new college kids to think about their future. I'm pretty sure they can only think about acting a fool at this point.
Anyway, I'm done. I need to focus back on my schedule and what needs to get done today. This was a pleasant diversion. I wonder how many more months will pass before I blog again? Or will it be tomorrow?
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